At “A Different Ending,” our mission is to preserve the echoes of our past, revealing the profound stories embedded within historical markers. Today, we spotlight Mary Catherine Bedingfeld Shaw-Stewart, whose life during the transformative periods of Victorian and Edwardian Scotland offers a window into the social and cultural complexities of those times.
Background and Inheritance
I recently had the opportunity to clean and restore the grave of Mary Catherine Bedingfeld Shaw-Stewart, born Mary Catherine Bedingfeld Collyer in Edinburgh in 1847. The significant sum she inherited from her father, Colonel George Chancellor Collyer, in 1894 — £13,663, about £1.5 million in today’s money — underscored the substantial social standing her family maintained.
You can watch me restore this grave and others, by clicking here
Marriage and Maternal Life
Mary married Major General John Heron Maxwell Shaw-Stewart on the 7th of September, 1871. The couple’s union, celebrated in an Episcopal ceremony in Edinburgh, signified their established social status and connection to the religious traditions of their community. However, the marriage faced challenges, leading to a separation. This separation was profound enough that their younger son, Patrick, was primarily raised by a nanny—a figure so central to his upbringing that he affectionately referred to her as “dear.” This detail indicates the emotional distance within the family, where parental figures were supplemented or even replaced by household staff.
“Image Credit: Falkirk History Society”
“Image Credit: Falkirk History Society”
The Children’s Contributions and Legacies
Patrick Houston Shaw-Stewart, one of Mary’s children, became noted as a war poet, whose works captured the horror and futility of World War One and won him the Croix de Guerre of France. His most famous poem, “Achilles in the Trench,” reads in full:
“I saw a man this morning
Who did not wish to die;
I ask, and cannot answer,
If otherwise wish I.
Fair broke the day this morning
Upon the Dardanelles;
The breeze blew soft, the morn’s cheeks
Were cold as cold sea-shells.
But other shells are waiting
Across the Aegean Sea;
Shrapnel and high explosives,
Shells and hells for me.
Oh Hell of ships and cities,
Hell of men like me,
Fatal second Helen,
Why must I follow thee?
Achilles came to Troyland
And I to Chersonese;
He turned from wrath to battle,
And I from three days’ peace.
Was it so hard, Achilles,
So very hard to die?
Thou knowest and I know not;
So much the happier am I.
I will go back this morning
From Imbros o’er the sea.
Stand in the trench, Achilles,
Flame-capped, and shout for me.”
Katherine Bedingfeld Shaw-Stewart, another of Mary’s children, received an MBE in 1943 for her contributions during World War Two, indicating the family’s ongoing legacy of service.
Mary’s Final Days and Burial
Mary died three days before Christmas in 1909. She passed away in Carnock House, the residence of her husband’s family, and her death was registered by her son, on Christmas day at the registrars office in nearby Bannockburn. Her grave now lies beside the ruins of an Episcopal church, a once-prestigious burial site for aristocrats and servants alike, now a poignant symbol of historical decay.
“Image Credit: National records of Scotland”
Our Commitment
At “A Different Ending,” we are dedicated to uncovering and preserving such stories, ensuring that the personal histories and broader cultural narratives they represent are not forgotten but continue to inspire and educate. Mary Catherine Bedingfeld Shaw-Stewart’s life, marked by personal challenges, social change, and familial legacy, enriches our understanding of her era and reminds us of the complex narratives woven through the history of Victorian and Edwardian Britain.
Monuments of Memory: Connecting Past and Future Through Restoration and New Ways of Remembering
As a Time-Served Stonemason, I’m deeply moved by the stories that emerge with each restoration. The tale of Mary Catherine Bedingfeld Shaw-Stewart reminds us that every grave has a story worth telling, rich with personal and historical significance.
Restoring Mary’s grave is not just about preserving stone, but about bringing history and memories back to life. It’s a privilege to reconnect these silent testimonies of the past with today’s world, ensuring that the dignity and stories of those who came before us are remembered and celebrated.
In addition to restoration, we’re innovating the way we remember our loved ones. Through our QR code business, you can now purchase a memorial page for your loved one. This modern approach ensures that their stories and legacies are accessible and preserved for generations to come, offering a new way to honour and remember.
Please follow us on our social media platforms to stay updated with more stories like Mary’s and to learn more about our QR code memorial pages. Every person’s story deserves to be told, and we have many more tales to share. Join us in preserving our shared heritage—one stone at a time.
To purchase a memorial page for your loved one click here
Remember to watch the video of me cleaning this grave by clicking here
A Different Ending